A limit that only holds when everyone stays

We say clear limits protect a team.

Last week, one cost a manager a team member.

She was in my ethical management training. We spent time on values. And on setting limits.

She went back to her team and tried it.

A team member had asked for time off to follow a course. She said yes.

Then the request came back, much bigger. This time she said no.

The team member resigned.

She came back to the room shaken. And for a moment, so was I. I was the one who had encouraged her.

Was I wrong?

I thought about it all weekend. My answer is no.

A limit that only holds when everyone stays is a wish.

You say yes where you can. You say clearly where you cannot. The other person then makes a choice, and that choice belongs to them.

A resignation hurts. It is also an answer to a question you had to ask anyway.

Have you ever held a limit and lost someone over it?